A Mother's Heart: "Adolescent Mouth"

Do you or your teen have “Adolescent Mouth”? Do you remember it? “Adolescent Mouth” is that indescribably nasty I-know-it-all-and-you-do-not attitude so many adolescents seem to embrace at some time in their development, which some people keep as a lifelong behavior. Did you do this? I certainly did, and felt absolutely justified and correct in so doing, even as I also felt guilty, knowing even then I was being unfair. I felt some of the people toward whom I displayed this yucky behavior were playing with half or less of a deck. Somewhat judgmental, would you say?

Some people hold onto Adolescent Mouth as a means of behavior throughout their lives. Do you know anyone like this? Is it ever you? Recognize. Be aware that using nastiness as a way to deal with anything often is an indication of that person’s feeling angry, upset, hostile, outranked, scared. Though bullies have made a habit of honing Adolescent Mouth as a weapon, by now most people know that bullies are actually out-of-control insecure scared people, picking on anyone they consider more vulnerable than themselves. This goes for individuals, groups, nations. Instead, find a way to actually state and deal directly with the issues at hand rather than coming off as an irritable and irritating adolescent. The time for healthy emotional expression is upon us, whatever our age.

Adolescence is that precious time between childhood and teen time, when the person is beyond childhood yet before the demands and changes of the teens. The teens are harbingers of adulthood. Adolescence and/or puberty is a time of great change in anyone’s life with hormones cascading through the blood, accompanied with rapid bodily and emotional shifts. New feelings, new physicality, new needs are emerging. How to handle this? What to do? What to feel? How to behave? Have you handled your experience successfully and consciously? Most people need guidance. Be sure to be aware of this in your teen, and be loving, aware, compassionate, honoring, and request your teen be this with you, too. Many teens will respond favorably to this.

Adolescence is also that time when people bond with their peers. Acting bossy to your teen at this time is often counter-productive, fruitless, and almost guaranteed to garner retaliation. Your behavior would then show you to be indulging in your own brand of Adolescent Mouth. You have to go beyond this, including, sometimes, using appropriate humor. Mainly, you are being called upon to put yourself in your teen’s shoes, figuratively, and understand from your teen’s perspective what is occurring, and for you to come up with wisdom rather than autocratic dictates. Remember, you both will live through this, so listen, listen, listen, to what your teen is actually saying, and be there for your child.

Today’s culture, especially in the U.S., has many instances of young adolescents looking to behave like young adults. Their bodies are beginning to look more mature, yet their minds and emotions are still immature. Ask yourself: If you are a woman, were you adequately and lovingly prepared for your period and sexuality by your mom or other parent or parental figure? If you are a man, were you adequately and lovingly prepared for wet dreams and sexual desires by your father or other parent or parental figure? For everyone: Have you healed yourself of whatever issues occurred when you were an adolescent? If you are a parent, particularly a mother, if your child is an adolescent, those years between 10-13, are you ready to prepare your child for this onslaught of changes?

Girls will often find themselves having a huge interest in styling. Either that, or they’ll hide in sweats and large T’s. Boys may begin to swagger. Some adolescents will look to take on the trappings of what they think is adulthood, including usage of alcohol, tobacco, or other unhealthy substances. Some may begin to swear and use harsh language. Some will ignore school, while others will immerse themselves in studies. Some are involved in sexual exploration, including some that look innocent and physically undeveloped.

Soon, the peer group will be the main thing in their lives, while parents are relegated to the back seat. Be conscious and aware with love: Your child needs you as much as ever to be there as a model, guide, confidante. Be well aware of the privacy that comes with this age, the new bodily awareness. Are you prepared?

Now is absolutely the time to talk about sex, if you have not already done so. Do this by the time your child is 10. In fact, in today’s world, very delicately begin talks about good and bad touch when you child is as young as 3 or 4 years of age.

QUESTION FOR YOU: What part is “Adolescent Mouth” playing in your life?

Please email me at MoonMystic22@aol.com with your responses!!

For support, guidance, ideas, email me at MoonMystic22@aol.com and check out The Mother’s Manual, A Spiritual and Practical Guide to Child Rearing and Motherhood © in Chapter Nine of Part Two, “Adolescence, Here It Is.” For more information and after late February to order this amazing book, hailed as a masterpiece, please go to www.TheMothersManual.com. Special for YOU, is the 60-page FREE ebook, The Mother’s Manual Sampler ©. Finally, Babies Come With a Manual!!! ™

Also, be sure to let me know at this email what ideas and topics you want to see in this Blog.

Much Love,

Mama Heart
Audrye

www.TheMothersManual.com
www.Achee.org
www.AudryeNow.tv


Audrye is a spiritual therapist, transformational catalyst, artist, TV personality, author AND Mom and Grammie, who has held seminars and classes in the U.S., Europe, West Africa and the Caribbean. She, her Team and YOU are creating a transformational peaceful multi-dimensional total global experience for all of us. Look forward to teleseminars, webinars, Internet radio and TV shows, as well as in-person seminars. Many blessings to us all!!!