I just read about one of the "reality show" moms pushing her six-year-young daughter to practice her dancing until this child cried in utter exhaustion and overwhelm.
Why do some moms do this?
This is poor mothering. Is it the mom who wants to succeed in whatever she is shoving her child to excel at? Usually, yes, absolutely.
Often the mom -- or dad -- who unceasingly and uncaringly rides her child beyond the child's capacity, is someone who lacks love for herself. Often, this kind of mom is feeling deficient in some area. Yes, the mom may say she wants the best for her child, that no one supported her (the mom) so she (the mom) is being supportive of her child. This is a smokescreen for callousness.
It is vital that we moms encourage our children. It is imperative that we moms recognize the talents, abilities, tendencies of our children, and empower our children to realize the fruition of their gifts. As well, as good moms, we also help our children with their challenges.
To work a child -- or anyone -- till that child is exhausted and spent physically and emotionally is both physical and emotional abuse.
Whether on a reality show or in "real" life, this is obvious.
Yes, every person has her or his own breaking point, and mom has to be astute enough to avoid confusing true encouragement with abusive bullying.
When mom, or the "star" of a reality show, or anyone else is the bully, we have to call it what it is. Child abuse. Bullying. Disparaging a small one so the adult "looks good." In actuality, the adult, the ostensible grown-up, actually looks pathetic, forceful, manipulative, dominating, cruel, unfeeling, and a host more.
This differs greatly from mom or a teacher being lax, careless, lazy, overly permissive.
Teaching a child internal discipline so the child innately looks to excel is what's needed. This is better accomplished by encouragement, discussion of what can be done better, accountability, love. Seemingly torturing a child in the name of love or encouragement is a mega lie to good parenting.
This confusion is part of what leads to emotional chaos in a person's life. Also, deep within herself, a mom knows when she has pushed her child too much. If the mom is unaware of this, this mom needs professional counseling.
All of us benefit from transformational, evolutionary, energy, psychological work. To avoid getting this is both foolish and dangerous.
Be a loving, encouraging, creative, enlightened mom, causing evolved kids. Require the best your child can give. Reward your child for every step she or he takes. Give them challenges, some of which are within their grasp, some of which are a true reach. Allow your child to know success and "failure," meaning not quite making the mark. We all have to know how to deal with this. This way the child learns that she or he can "fold," and then pick her (or him) self up and go again.
These are vital life lessons. Everyone benefits from learning them. It is ongoing.
Have a blessed New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love,
Audrye
MamaHeart
Transformation Catalyst, Author, Clairvoyant Consultant, Spiritual Therapist, Healer, Health & Wellness Coach, Enagic Kangen (R) Water Distributor, BlogTalkShow Host, Artist, and, definitely, Mom and Grammie
www.TheMothersManual.com (GET the BIG BOOK on SPECIAL till 1.1.13 on Kindle and Nook)
www.Audrye.org
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Friday, December 28, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
A Good Mom Knows When to Get Support
A good mother knows when to ask for support. This is before any crisis occurs. Everyone has to know when she (or he) has taken on more than she can handle. We all get signals within us, whether a feeling of dizziness, a stomachache, lack of sleep, overscheduled days, the Inner Guidance (different from the chattering internal dialog) or what-have-you.
Good moms want the best for their children. In the case of the Newtown, CT, tragedy, there were signals throughout this young man's life that he needed more help than his mother could give.
Was it appropriate that the young man's brother was "supposed to" be his brother's caretaker? Only up to a point. All persons have to have the opportunity and possibility of living their lives, especially as a youngster. All siblings are meant to help one another, definitely. This is different from one sibling being responsible for another one, especially if the one needing help has a mental, physical, emotional or spiritual dysfunction. Dysfunctionality requires expert open-hearted competent help.
When individuals or a group are always silent, refusing to express their feelings, needs, opinions, desires or anything germane to who they are, this is generally a signal that something is askew. Often, this lack of response signals that energy is building up, as in a pressure cooker. Without a proper means of release, this energy can -- and often may -- explode.
Just as overly angry, aggressive, resentful, dominating, manipulative people have to learn how to better manage their emotions and deal with the underpinnings of what is truly going on within them, so, too, do people who hide everything inside without sharing anything anywhere with anyone.
It is tragic that this young man, likely with his mom's best intentions, did not get the help he needed.
To have him living in a household rife with guns, plus bringing him to a shooting range, was incredibly foolish. Perhaps target shooting was his mom's way to release her own stress. Perhaps she thought target shooting gave her some control over a tenuous challenging home situation. If these were some of her motivations, she was also acting out, rather than doing her internal work.
Both people needed help.
Neither got what they needed.
This is something for all of us to look at within ourselves, our families, our lives.
Be sure you get the support you need. Ask. Ask. Ask. Find people who are competent to help you. Be willing to give back. Create a barter. Find what you can give or share that will benefit the other person or someone else. Life is an exchange of energy.
Also, Rather than taking on everything possible, instead take on a moderate amount of "stuff" to do in your life. Do what you have to do as well and completely as you can.
The energy of the times is that of flux, transformation, evolution, where each and every one of us is called up to be responsible for our own lives, while also being supportive of one another's growth.
Be wise in your choices.
Much love in the New Year!!!!
Love,
MamaHeart
Audrye
www.TheMothersManual.com
www.Audrye.org
www.BlogTalkRadio.com/GoddessHeartNetwork
www.GoddessHeartWater.com
www.facebook.com/TheMothersManual
1 888 757 3223 1 888 75 PEACE
Good moms want the best for their children. In the case of the Newtown, CT, tragedy, there were signals throughout this young man's life that he needed more help than his mother could give.
Was it appropriate that the young man's brother was "supposed to" be his brother's caretaker? Only up to a point. All persons have to have the opportunity and possibility of living their lives, especially as a youngster. All siblings are meant to help one another, definitely. This is different from one sibling being responsible for another one, especially if the one needing help has a mental, physical, emotional or spiritual dysfunction. Dysfunctionality requires expert open-hearted competent help.
When individuals or a group are always silent, refusing to express their feelings, needs, opinions, desires or anything germane to who they are, this is generally a signal that something is askew. Often, this lack of response signals that energy is building up, as in a pressure cooker. Without a proper means of release, this energy can -- and often may -- explode.
Just as overly angry, aggressive, resentful, dominating, manipulative people have to learn how to better manage their emotions and deal with the underpinnings of what is truly going on within them, so, too, do people who hide everything inside without sharing anything anywhere with anyone.
It is tragic that this young man, likely with his mom's best intentions, did not get the help he needed.
To have him living in a household rife with guns, plus bringing him to a shooting range, was incredibly foolish. Perhaps target shooting was his mom's way to release her own stress. Perhaps she thought target shooting gave her some control over a tenuous challenging home situation. If these were some of her motivations, she was also acting out, rather than doing her internal work.
Both people needed help.
Neither got what they needed.
This is something for all of us to look at within ourselves, our families, our lives.
Be sure you get the support you need. Ask. Ask. Ask. Find people who are competent to help you. Be willing to give back. Create a barter. Find what you can give or share that will benefit the other person or someone else. Life is an exchange of energy.
Also, Rather than taking on everything possible, instead take on a moderate amount of "stuff" to do in your life. Do what you have to do as well and completely as you can.
The energy of the times is that of flux, transformation, evolution, where each and every one of us is called up to be responsible for our own lives, while also being supportive of one another's growth.
Be wise in your choices.
Much love in the New Year!!!!
Love,
MamaHeart
Audrye
www.TheMothersManual.com
www.Audrye.org
www.BlogTalkRadio.com/GoddessHeartNetwork
www.GoddessHeartWater.com
www.facebook.com/TheMothersManual
1 888 757 3223 1 888 75 PEACE
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