A Good Mom Knows When to Get Support

   A good mother knows when to ask for support.  This is before any crisis occurs.  Everyone has to know when she (or he) has taken on more than she can handle.  We all get signals within us, whether a feeling of dizziness, a stomachache, lack of sleep, overscheduled days, the Inner Guidance (different from the chattering internal dialog) or what-have-you.

   Good moms want the best for their children.  In the case of the Newtown, CT, tragedy, there were signals throughout this young man's life that he needed more help than his mother could give.

    Was it appropriate that the young man's brother was "supposed to" be his brother's caretaker?  Only up to a point.  All persons have to have the opportunity and possibility of living their lives, especially as a youngster.  All siblings are meant to help one another, definitely.  This is different from one sibling being responsible for another one, especially if the one needing help has a mental, physical, emotional or spiritual dysfunction.  Dysfunctionality requires expert open-hearted competent help.

    When individuals or a group are always silent, refusing to express their feelings, needs, opinions, desires or anything germane to who they are, this is generally a signal that something is askew.  Often, this lack of response signals that energy is building up, as in a pressure cooker. Without a proper means of release, this energy can -- and often may -- explode.

     Just as overly angry, aggressive, resentful, dominating, manipulative people have to learn how to better manage their emotions and deal with the underpinnings of what is truly going on within them, so, too, do people who hide everything inside without sharing anything anywhere with anyone.

     It is tragic that this young man, likely with his mom's best intentions, did not get the help he needed.

     To have him living in a household rife with guns, plus bringing him to a shooting range, was incredibly foolish.   Perhaps target shooting was his mom's way to release her own stress.  Perhaps she thought target shooting gave her some control over a tenuous challenging home situation. If these were some of her motivations, she was also acting out, rather than doing her internal work.

    Both people needed help.

    Neither got what they needed.

    This is something for all of us to look at within ourselves, our families, our lives. 

    Be sure you get the support you need.  Ask.  Ask.  Ask.  Find people who are competent to help you.  Be willing to give back.  Create a barter.  Find what you can give or share that will benefit the other person or someone else.  Life is an exchange of energy.

    Also, Rather than taking on everything possible, instead take on a moderate amount of "stuff" to do in your life.  Do what you have to do as well and completely as you can.

    The energy of the times is that of flux, transformation, evolution, where each and every one of us is called up to be responsible for our own lives, while also being supportive of one another's growth.

    Be wise in your choices. 

    Much love in the New Year!!!!

Love,

MamaHeart
Audrye

www.TheMothersManual.com
www.Audrye.org
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To Spank or Not to Spank? Just say NO to Spanking!

      What do you think of parents slapping their kids? Do you believe in corporeal punishment?  Do you hit your child?

      It is inappropriate to slap, spank or hit a child.  Speak to your child, explain what's needed and wanted for the child.  Stop the objectionable behavior, use positive reinforcement, and give at least 10 yes's to each one no.  Have the child know she or he is still a good person.  Spare the rod, without spoiling the child.

     When a parent, whether mom or dad, spanks her/his child, the parent teaches the child that hitting, bullying, violence is the way to do things.  The child learns to be manipulative and to have lower self-esteem, and feels demeaned, less-than.  Why is this?  The child was disrespected by the parent who is supposed to love the child.  This also teaches great confusion about what love is and what love does.

    The child may or may not stop the objectionable behavior, not because the child learned anything but because the child prefers that the slapping or nasty verbal language and tone coming from the parent be stopped.  So, if the child has to agree with the parent, the child often will do so.  Did this mean the child learned the lesson the parent meant to teach?  No.

      Have I ever hit a child? Yes. Also, afterward, I felt I was the one who made the mistake. Always.  It was a bigger lesson for me than for the child, the few times in my life that I did it, spurring me to grow spiritually.  I also apologized to the child, and explained what needed to be done.

      Where are you with this?  Where are you with "spare the rod and spoil the child"? For me, it's ridiculous. Once at a lovely event, another mom and I had a difference of opinion about this, she feeling that because the Bible ostensibly taught this, she was totally justified to smack her daughter when her daughter misbehaved.  In fact, she felt I was disparaging of her religious beliefs because I told her the Bible was written in a patriarchical age by men who often had a dominating controlling mentality.  She was in a huff.  I maintain there are better ways.

      Sparing the rod and finding more enlightened ways to teach one's child by and large brings forth a healthier child.  Yes, absolutely, discipline your child.  Be appropriately firm yet loving.  Refrain from slapping, hitting, whacking, smacking.  This means you are out of control, especially if the parent does this when the parent is angry. This is one of the reasons we still have war.

     See more on Kindle and Nook with THE MOTHER'S MANUAL, A SPIRITUAL AND PRACTICAL GUIDE TO CHILD REARING AND MOTHERHOOD.. Just put the name in.  The entire book is on Kindle at

 http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDRKG and on Nook at

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-mothers-manual-a-spiritual-and-practical-guide-to-child-rearing-and-motherhood-guaranteed-to-cause-enlightened-moms-evolved-kids-free-bonus-vegan-raw-living-recipes-wwwthemothersmanualcom-audrye-s-arbe-wwwthemothersmanualcom/1111865993?ean=2940014643108

     Check out article @http://www.everydayhealth.com/kids-health/0807/parents-spank-slap-kids-in-public-more-often-than-thought.aspx?xid=aol_eh-news_9_20120806_&aolcat=HLT&icid=maing-grid10%7Chtmlws-main-bb%7Cdl17%7Csec3_lnk1%26pLid%3D189608

     Put your comment here....

    Lots of Love,

MamaHeart
Audrye

www.TheMothersManual.com
www.BlogTalkRadio.com/GoddessHeartNetwork
www.Audrye.org
www.GoddessHeartWater.com