Why Do Some Moms Bully and Push Their Kids Too Much?

     I just read about one of the "reality show" moms pushing her six-year-young daughter to practice her dancing until this child cried in utter exhaustion and overwhelm. 

    Why do some moms do this?

    This is poor mothering.  Is it the mom who wants to succeed in whatever she is shoving her child to excel at?  Usually, yes, absolutely. 

    Often the mom -- or dad -- who unceasingly and uncaringly rides her child beyond the child's capacity, is someone who lacks love for herself.  Often, this kind of mom is feeling deficient in some area.  Yes, the mom may say she wants the best for her child, that no one supported her (the mom) so she (the mom) is being supportive of her child.  This is a smokescreen for callousness.

   It is vital that we moms encourage our children.  It is imperative that we moms recognize the talents, abilities, tendencies of our children, and empower our children to realize the fruition of their gifts.  As well, as good moms, we also help our children with their challenges. 

    To work a child -- or anyone -- till that child is exhausted and spent physically and emotionally is both physical and emotional abuse. 

    Whether on a reality show or in "real" life, this is obvious.

    Yes, every person has her or his own breaking point, and mom has to be astute enough to avoid confusing true encouragement with abusive bullying.

    When mom, or the "star" of a reality show, or anyone else is the bully, we have to call it what it is.  Child abuse.  Bullying.   Disparaging a small one so the adult "looks good."  In actuality, the adult, the ostensible grown-up, actually looks pathetic, forceful, manipulative, dominating, cruel, unfeeling, and a host more.

     This differs greatly from mom or a teacher being lax, careless, lazy, overly permissive. 

     Teaching a child internal discipline so the child innately looks to excel is what's needed.  This is better accomplished by encouragement, discussion of what can be done better, accountability, love.  Seemingly torturing a child in the name of love or encouragement is a mega lie to good parenting.

     This confusion is part of what leads to emotional chaos in a person's life.  Also, deep within herself, a mom knows when she has pushed her child too much.  If the mom is unaware of this, this mom needs professional counseling. 

      All of us benefit from transformational, evolutionary, energy, psychological work.  To avoid getting this is both foolish and dangerous.

     Be a loving, encouraging, creative, enlightened mom, causing evolved kids.  Require the best your child can give.  Reward your child for every step she or he takes.  Give them challenges, some of which are within their grasp, some of which are a true reach.  Allow your child to know success and "failure," meaning not quite making the mark.  We all have to know how to deal with this.  This way the child learns that she or he can "fold," and then pick her (or him) self up and go again.

     These are vital life lessons.  Everyone benefits from learning them.  It is ongoing.

    Have a blessed New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Audrye
MamaHeart

Transformation Catalyst, Author, Clairvoyant Consultant, Spiritual Therapist, Healer, Health & Wellness Coach, Enagic Kangen (R) Water Distributor, BlogTalkShow Host, Artist, and, definitely, Mom and Grammie

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My "Baby" Grands - 7 Tips for a Great Family Visit

One of the greatest joys this mom has is also being a GRAMMIE to three fabulous grand-children. 


    I leave tomorrow to visit these wonderful young people.  To maintain privacy, I'll use initials only. 


       L is a four-year-young amazing active adorable little girl. 

      O is now 2, and has managed to potty-train herself by following the lead of her sister. 

      H just turned 1, and I look forward to giving him his presents in person, with a gift each of my grand-daughters.

    So, how to make a visit as pleasant as possible? 

     Here is what I intend to do, so I'll share:

 

      Seven Tips for a Successful Visit

1.  Center yourself daily!  Be in your inner peaceful place.  Allow this peace to emanate from you.

2.  Love yourself all the time.  In this space of love, also definitely love your family members, friends, "other" as best you can, the planet. 

 

3.   Remember, this is their home with their rules.  You are a visitor here.  Be sure to treat everyone with respect, and be treated by everyone with respect.

 

4.   Bring joy to everything.  Add JOY as a daily ingredient and create a minimum of 15 minutes of JOY daily. 

 

 

5.   Be a contribution.  Always find a way to make whatever is happening better, more enlightened, more loving, more beneficial. 

 

 

6.   Speak and Interact with Loving Wisdom in your heart, mind, body and attitude.  Whatever you have to say, remember, Love is the Highest Way to Communicate.  This has to be real.  Go back to # 1, if need be.

 

7,   Pray, Meditate, BREATHE, Affirm, Fill With GRATITUDE and Stay Connected to Source/Goddess/God/Essence.  Do this several times daily.   From this core, you will be Guided about what to say, when to be silent, when to give, when to receive.  If you find yourself getting distressed, then PAUSE, and inhale and exhale slowly and deeply from your diaphragm in three-part breathing.  Do this a minimum of three times. 

 

      I am so looking forward to seeing these energetic, blessed little beings!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  
     May your life be filled with joy!!!!!!!!!!!

  
    On another note, yes, I am beyond grateful that President Obama continues as President.  More on that in another post.

Love,

Audrye
MamaHeart

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Vote for President Obama! Re-elect Woman/Mom Supporter

Moms, we are on the eve of a critical election!  We have pull!!!!!!!

Vote for President Obama!  He and Vice President Joe Biden champion women - intelligent, articulate, evolving women.  Women/moms with or without money!  Women/moms of every complexion, religion, background!  President Obama is the father of GIRLS!  He is committed to his daughters - plus  yours and mine -- having a great life, with possibility and freedom.

    In terms of this Choice/Abortion issue.  No one I know loves abortion.  Abortion is a necessity so long as we have unwanted pregnancies.  Yes, we must have universal contraception that works and is safe.  Absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We also have to have choice.

    Do you remember what women did before choice was legal?  I do!

   There were women who put hangers inside themselves to terminate an unwanted pregnancy. These women sometimes aborted, sometimes created great danger to both their fetuses and themselves.

    I am a huge champion of contraception.  Every sexually active female and male must have this, plus the knowledge, skill and wherewithal to use the birth control properly.

    I love life.  I love babies.  I loved being pregnant.  All this by conscious choice!!!!!!!!!!!

   Forced pregnancies are as reprehensible as forced abortions. 

   We all need choice, consciousness, contraception available to us without someone else sticking their business into our privacies.  Yes, we have to educate all girls, teens, women on how our bodies work, and how to prevent getting pregnant.

    The Republican candidates would scrap Planned Parenthood, make abortion illegal, take away women's rights that many of us -- I am of THAT age -- fought so hard for. 

    Do you want to be like a country with women walking several steps behind their men????  This is what Romney and his ilk want, be well aware of it.

   Vote for President Obama, and for a Democratic Congress, so we can more done this term, and really make a huge difference!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Bless us all ladies!!!!!!!

Love,

MomaHeart
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