A Mother's Heart: Conception and Expectations

It's with a sad heart that I see in the world and on TV women who have sex without contraception, conceive a baby unintentionally (we all DO know how babies are made, yes?) and then expect this man, her sexual partner, who may be unready or unprepared to make any commitment to her, to then stay on as her mate and father to this child they both created without thinking, preparation or conscious intention. Then the woman may get angry at the man if he chooses to be lax about fathering, financial support and/or partner-spousal commitment to her. Why is she surprised? If there was little or no conversation about baby-making, if both people were careless or unthinking about sex, and they continually make love and/or have sex, then, at some point, pregnancy is a likely result. As obvious as this sounds, Ladies, please always use birth control, unless you and your man have consciously and clearly agreed to have a baby and are prepared emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and, yes, financially, to bring forth a new life on this planet.

This is simple A, B, C. That there are so many "accidental" pregnancies in this country, where contraceptives are readily available, is a testament to the frequent thoughtlessness and carelessness of people in their intimate sexual lives. This is less than the best sign of the potential for someone to be a good parent. More likely, it is a signal that this woman, and/or man, may be ill prepared for the mommy journey. This person is likely to experience unfulfilled expectations, disappointment, anger, hurt, rage, overwhelm, and a host of other feelings, situations and conditions. True, any of us can triumph over circumstances. Most of the time, this is required to live life. Nonetheless, why do some women -- and men -- set themselves up for hardship? Often, too, these very women may have an unloving attitude about the whole situation, without ever looking within to see why they created this circumstance in the first place. Yes, the woman definitely can grow into being a great mom.

Yes, too, children are a blessing. Life is precious. All true. This is not a license to go out and unthinkingly go on a baby-making spree, expecting the Universe to care for your child. The Universe gave us wisdom, and we are expected to use it. Though it may take a village to raise a child, what village is someone targeting for the task of raising her child? Has the village been informed about this and has the village agreed? There is also such a thing as personal responsiblity and accountability. It is also true that we live in a multidimensional universe, and what can look peculiar from a human third-dimensional perspective may make total sense from a higher-dimensional spiritual view. Perhaps this woman -- or man -- had to fulfill on certain agreements made before their incarnation. Perhaps this woman -- or man -- had to learn how to work hard. Perhaps some of these people had abandoned their child/ren in previous-parallel existences, and are now learning responsibility. All is possible.

We have, especially in this high-tech country, some amount of dominion over our sex lives. We can learn with various devices when we women are fertile. We can use contraceptives. We can have actual conversations and deep communication with our partners. We can have actual intimacy. Having sex can be very different from experiencing intimacy. And, Ladies of the heterosexual variety, do you know that many men will say almost anything once they are in the midst of a sexual experience, especially if those words will have you transfixed and continuing to be sexual with them? Wake up, please!!! Get to know this man, and, if you choose to be sexually intimate with him, use contraceptives -- even if you dislike the devices, which most of us do -- so, if and when you conceive, you do so consciously, purposefully, and preparedly, and, hopefully, with a man who is ready, willing and able to beyour partner, and who also chooses to be a dad. Better yet, be in a relationship with him first, so you are in a position to get pregnant and fully joyously welcome this new life.

Being a great mother takes something, and in the best of cases, any and all of us can sometimes do things that are less than our best, so be wise, and start baby-making when you are ready. Foisting pregnancy and motherhood on yourself before you are prepared, and then having false expectations, can be damaging to you and your child/ren.

Today's Blog was inspired when I was watching TV and seeing women who made babies without being in any committed relationship, then were angry with the man involved. The host never even asked why the woman got pregnant, what she was thinking. This would clearly be un-politically correct, as the person being interviewed would have to actually look within herself. I am a huge supporter of women's rights. Fully!!! Ladies, we also have a responsibility to ourselves, our lives, our children, and, yes, our mates, to be honest, clear, authentic, loving, and real. Thank you for hearing the love and concern I have for the children conceived in this manner, their mothers, fathers and families, and for all of us.

Blessings,

Mama Heart
Audrye
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